peccatore | Marco's Heart

Marco's Heart

You find yourself in a bright white, circular room. It's nearly empty; too bare, almost clinically so. But the bareness of it means that what is visible here stands out:

A podium in the center, where a familiar figure sits, head buried in his hands. Three paths running from the podium to three different spots near the edges of the room - not corners; circles don't have corners - where three doors leading seemingly nowhere stand with no regard for their complete lack of structural support.

It doesn't take you long to figure out where you are, does it? You only have to decide where to start.

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It's not that difficult; it turns out they're actually pretty loose.

"Uh," the shorter girl starts. Her corset and her boots paint a more intimidating picture than her glasses and her voice do. "Those are... mine? I mean, I guess that's fine, it's... not like I have to stall for time in a memory..."

[to the shorter girl] You know, I should probably be asking context. What's... going on here that you were needing to stall for time?

"Oh, uh, I was just buying time until he got here." She points at Marco. "Kind of... My boyfriend's doing a thing," she explains, glancing at the less spidery version of the green-haired man.

Speaking of which, that one interjects. The spidery one.

"Hey, why aren't you asking me?"

Vibes, my dude.

"Vi-- I'm the guide! They -" He gestures at the girls. "- they're just here for, fucking... completion's sake! Look, see?" Now he's pointing at the other version of himself, who is walking towards Marco. "I'm important!"

Sure, I don't think you'd be here if you weren't important. They're here too.

But, yeah...

[heads over to see what the less spidery one is doing with Marco]

As soon as Kieran is looking, that one takes no time at all to announce, opening his arms with a broad, sweeping gesture:

"Thank you sooo much for coming, Marco Evangelisti! Man of the hour! Man of the YEAR, the way things are going!"

Marco's eyes quickly dart around... but they seem to linger on Kieran a moment longer than anywhere else.

"Mr. Kinra, I'm not sure what you want from me."

"Oh, just looking for a chat," says the man who's apparently named Mr. Kinra.

"In front of a live audience? In front of cameras?" Marco stretches his mouth into a practiced smile. "I think my office would have been a nicer venue."

"Maybe." The lanky man's grin, in turn, twists his delicate features into anything but. "But I thought, 'Gee, wouldn't it be funny if the organizers had Good Samaritan Mr. Evangelisti on speed dial?' And lo and behold, they did! Now why is that?"

"I'm not a difficult man to reach."

"Unless someone tries to invite you to an afternoon picnic, am I right?"

[raises a hand] Question. Is this a public humiliation scenario we're all supposed to be into or just you, Mr. Kinra?

"Fffffff--" He whips around in Kieran's direction, hands suddenly lit with blazing blue flames. "Are you going to let me out this son of a bitch already or what?!"

[raises his hands in surrender] Go for it.

"Well, now it's not fun anymore!" He huffs. The flames go out. Meanwhile, Marco rolls his eyes.

"What happened, originally, is that he caught me off-guard with that... fire of his. I panicked and my glamour failed."

Which I guess would out you to the live audience and the cameras?

"Yes."

"Which..." Hey, the girl with the bob cut is talking again. "Is pretty damn weird. I mean, you're missin' context 'cause Marco doesn't remember enough for a more elaborate framin' device yet, but this shit was a freakin'... tournament for magical people or whatever. And now it turns out he's a vampire?"

Mr. Kinra looks beyond offended.

"Why the hell are you telling him that?! That's my job!"

She shrugs. "Liked his vibes too."

[he gives her a big grin and a thumbs up]

Wait, why is it a big issue to out him as a vampire if the tournament is for people like vampires...?

[he asks the girl with the bob cut directly, sorry Mr. Kinra uwu.]

"... 'Cause a bunch of the fights were rigged to frame the people in 'em as dangerous," she says. "And he was fundin' this in secret."

Oooh. Buddy. [wrinkles his nose at Marco] Why? Do you remember yet?

"... I do. It's... why you're here."

Marco looks deeply ashamed.

Because you're stuck in what it means that you did this? [comes to sit near him]

"I-I've remembered what all of this was about, and I can't... I don't... I just don't know how to live with myself. I..."

Unfortunately, one Mr. Kinra doesn't seem keen on letting this conversation continue.

"Sitting down already? There's so much more to see, though!"

We're just talking, buddy.

Marco...

Marco starts to curl in on himself again. It won't be easy to "just talk."

"Yeah? Sure, whatever. You got thirty seconds."

... Especially with an obnoxious guide like this guy.

[slides over to put an arm around Marco, determined to make the most of his thirty seconds]

Making a mistake like this is actually extremely human of you. The self-loathing, the separation of who you are and what you are and what and who others are. That's very human.

So's feeling like you don't know how to live with yourself.

But the answer is always a day at a time, right? When there's no future. The answer is always finding a way forward where you try to reduce harm. It's waking up and feeling the horrible weight of it and then going through that to do better. To see who you are and say, okay, what can I do that'll make a little difference today. And doing that every day. And slowly you'll find that it's a little less heavy and takes up a little less space.

Attacking yourself, harming yourself, torturing yourself, that all takes time away from doing the work. And maybe if you do those little things enough every day you'll start to appreciate yourself again, because you'll have built up enough things you can appreciate.

You can do this. It won't be easy. But I believe in you.

If nothing else, that gets Marco to look at Kieran again. Really look, and listen. He still doesn't seem to know what to say, but...

Maybe that doesn't matter right now, because the spidery man whistles sharply.

"Aaaaaaaand time!"

Their surroundings start to blur. When they slow down, they coalesce into the back alley of a rainy street at night, with buildings that stretch far into the sky.

Actually, it's San Francisco. Do you know San Francisco, Kieran? It's San Francisco.

Wait, fuck, where is this? I feel like I've been here before...

"Huh. You from around here, Father?"

For once, the guide seems just... idly curious.

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