[The only things she remembers is a blur of pain, blood, panic, and the scent of decay. SHe's kind of glad she doesn't remember more than that. She doesn't want to.]
how are you supposed to keep it from happening if you don't fight him? not that i want you to fight him anyway aunamee does what he wants so how do you keep people from getting hurt when just existing is enough to make him want to kill you?
don't make promises you can't keep not until you figure it out saying that kind of thing makes you sound all cool and it'd be fine if it were a shounen manga or something but ryslig isn't like that and it won't ever be and i hate that because i'm sick of all of my nightmares and getting hurt and dying and killing people to survive and my panic attacks and everything else and i don't know if i'd be ok with you trying to sacrifice yourself or anything else you could do! if it involved something happening to you too
[Marco isn't sure what a shounen manga is, but he thinks he gets the gist of it.]
Haha. Sorry.
Don't worry, I'm not planning to die either.
To be honest, I've been afraid to act for a long time, because of how I USED to act. It feels like I'm only just now dipping my toes into recruiting and spreading the word again And I still don't want to go as far as I did back then. Never again.
If both sides of the conflict were consistently peaceful, it might be easier. But apparently, that's just not how things work.
not really but conflict usually means it's not peaceful anyway and i understand it! it's hard because i want to hurt aunamee i want to do really bad things to him but i don't want to give into that either even if most people would say it was justified! but it doesn't help that the fog god doesn't even care if we hurt each other so her priests usually think that means they can do whatever and it's not like she'll ever do anything about it
[The Fog God certainly is... laissez-faire. That is perhaps the most objective view Marco has managed to have, now that Fiddleford is on her side.
Anyway. Disclosure.
He's not going to lie. He can't.]
I know how this is going to sound, but I can't remember everything very clearly. I was in a bad place I It's not JUST the god issue, I have... some things But I attempted murder, yes. I COMMITTED murder at least once. I thought it was for a "good cause."
it's hard to believe that you would but i don't disbelieve it either you just don't seem like that at all and it's really easy to be in a bad place here... so i don't think i can really blame you because i get it
It's easy to say I wasn't really myself And frankly, I don't think it would be a lie. But I'm hardly "cured." That's why I'm a lot more careful these days.
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Knowing that Makoto doesn't remember what happened in full detail, though... It comes as a bit of a relief.]
This won't happen again.
I'm not going to fight him, don't worry.
But I promised myself years ago that nobody would get hurt again.
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how are you supposed to keep it from happening if you don't fight him?
not that i want you to fight him anyway
aunamee does what he wants
so how do you keep people from getting hurt when just existing is enough to make him want to kill you?
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I don't know.
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not until you figure it out
saying that kind of thing makes you sound all cool and it'd be fine if it were a shounen manga or something
but ryslig isn't like that
and it won't ever be
and i hate that
because i'm sick of all of my nightmares and getting hurt and dying and killing people to survive and my panic attacks and everything else
and i don't know if i'd be ok with you trying to sacrifice yourself
or anything else you could do!
if it involved something happening to you too
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Haha. Sorry.
Don't worry, I'm not planning to die either.
To be honest, I've been afraid to act for a long time, because of how I USED to act.
It feels like I'm only just now dipping my toes into recruiting and spreading the word again
And I still don't want to go as far as I did back then. Never again.
If both sides of the conflict were consistently peaceful, it might be easier.
But apparently, that's just not how things work.
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but conflict usually means it's not peaceful anyway
and i understand it!
it's hard
because i want to hurt aunamee
i want to do really bad things to him
but i don't want to give into that either
even if most people would say it was justified!
but it doesn't help that the fog god doesn't even care if we hurt each other
so her priests usually think that means they can do whatever
and it's not like she'll ever do anything about it
is it ok if i ask how far you did go?
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Anyway. Disclosure.
He's not going to lie. He can't.]
I know how this is going to sound, but I can't remember everything very clearly.
I was in a bad place
I
It's not JUST the god issue, I have... some things
But I attempted murder, yes.
I COMMITTED murder at least once.
I thought it was for a "good cause."
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but i don't disbelieve it either
you just don't seem like that
at all
and it's really easy to be in a bad place here...
so i don't think i can really blame you
because i get it
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It's easy to say I wasn't really myself
And frankly, I don't think it would be a lie.
But I'm hardly "cured."
That's why I'm a lot more careful these days.
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i think your efforts are paying off!
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I appreciate hearing it, sincerely.