[His voice rises sharply in pitch at the end there and he winces. When he speaks again it's slow and deliberate, an effort to keep himself from sounding as shook up as he feels.]
I can't ... I can't do nothin' and just hope things'll somehow get better. They won't. You're smart, you oughta know that.
[It comes out more frustrated than defeated. His shoulders slump.]
There's no way to get at her and that's all that's keepin' her alive at this point because if I could get at her, Marco, I'd have already built somethin' to burn her and everythin' she's ever touched to dust and marched it right up to her doorstep.
[His hands clench into fists against Marco's back. This is the first time he's admitted to this, but it's nothing new. Even before Wendy told him about the robots he would one day build, he was designing similar things in his notebooks here to medicate himself through the crippling helplessness of his situation. He'd like to think he'd never actually raze Kulen to the ground just because that's where he acquired the parasite that's now wreaking havoc on his body. It was still therapeutic to design a robot that could do it.]
I know. [They both know; Fiddleford knows she's too powerful, Marco knows Fiddleford is a genius and an unexpectedly destructive one at that. He's seen the schematics.]
I remember people talking about... her heart... [He shakes his head and the rest of the sentence dies in his throat, because he doesn't know how to finish it. That's all he remembers.
His head hurts and he's tempted to rest it on Fiddleford's shoulder. He'd better not. Things got awkward enough last time.]
W-We'll find a way. We will show her... We'll show her...
[His hands slowly, slowly relax against Marco's back and he lets out a long breath. For a long, long moment he's quiet, just breathing, trying to get himself under control and swallow back the angry heat behind his eyes. He's run the gamut through an awful lot of emotions just now and eventually it evens out into just feeling exhausted.]
Would you mind stayin' with me a bit? I don't... I don't particularly want to be alone right now. If I'm alone there'll be nothin' to stop me thinkin' about it.
[Marco has to hold back a dry, tired laugh. That's a feeling he's intimately familiar with.]
I'll stay as long as you want me to.
[As long as he wants him to, as close as he wants him to. Marco knows there's no chance his feelings will ever be reciprocated, and he does sincerely hope he gets over them soon.
But regardless of that, he just wants to do whatever he can for Fiddleford.]
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[His voice rises sharply in pitch at the end there and he winces. When he speaks again it's slow and deliberate, an effort to keep himself from sounding as shook up as he feels.]
I can't ... I can't do nothin' and just hope things'll somehow get better. They won't. You're smart, you oughta know that.
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[He averts his eyes, looking at his own knees instead. Of course Fiddleford wouldn't like he that. He has to act.
Marco likes that about him.]
I know it's not enough, b-but it helps. He's trying to help. He's... He's doing all he can, he is, but she's... She's too powerful.
[He repeats, in a whisper meant more for himself than for Fiddleford:] She's too powerful, she controls too much.
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[It comes out more frustrated than defeated. His shoulders slump.]
There's no way to get at her and that's all that's keepin' her alive at this point because if I could get at her, Marco, I'd have already built somethin' to burn her and everythin' she's ever touched to dust and marched it right up to her doorstep.
[His hands clench into fists against Marco's back. This is the first time he's admitted to this, but it's nothing new. Even before Wendy told him about the robots he would one day build, he was designing similar things in his notebooks here to medicate himself through the crippling helplessness of his situation. He'd like to think he'd never actually raze Kulen to the ground just because that's where he acquired the parasite that's now wreaking havoc on his body. It was still therapeutic to design a robot that could do it.]
no subject
I remember people talking about... her heart... [He shakes his head and the rest of the sentence dies in his throat, because he doesn't know how to finish it. That's all he remembers.
His head hurts and he's tempted to rest it on Fiddleford's shoulder. He'd better not. Things got awkward enough last time.]
W-We'll find a way. We will show her... We'll show her...
... You know.
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[His hands slowly, slowly relax against Marco's back and he lets out a long breath. For a long, long moment he's quiet, just breathing, trying to get himself under control and swallow back the angry heat behind his eyes. He's run the gamut through an awful lot of emotions just now and eventually it evens out into just feeling exhausted.]
Would you mind stayin' with me a bit? I don't... I don't particularly want to be alone right now. If I'm alone there'll be nothin' to stop me thinkin' about it.
no subject
I'll stay as long as you want me to.
[As long as he wants him to, as close as he wants him to. Marco knows there's no chance his feelings will ever be reciprocated, and he does sincerely hope he gets over them soon.
But regardless of that, he just wants to do whatever he can for Fiddleford.]