[Pretty much immediately after his talk with Elias, Fiddleford goes upstairs to find his husband. He's, uh. He's having kind of a moment. He was already fragile after what happened at Erikson's party last month dredged up some real bad memories and this on top of that has put him well and truly in A Bad Place. His hands are clenched very tightly at his sides because if they weren't he'd be reaching up to try and pull at his thick boar's mane of hair. He was doing so good and now he feels like he's lost all that ground and he's standing on nothing.
He just needs to see Marco. To know that he's still there. To reassure himself, as best he can, that Marco isn't just counting down the seconds until he can leave. None of that's real. That's just his mind doing that thing it always does when he's scared, where it finds problems that aren't there because surely there must be problems or he wouldn't be so scared! It's fine. It's fine.]
Honey? I, ah. Can I talk to you? [He does not wait for a response. He's really in it.] Just, y'know, hypothetical question -- if -- if Elias said you could leave, right now. Leave Ryslig, go back to normal. But I couldn't come with you. Would you go?
[You know. Just asking for no reason in particular. Fun thought exercise. Real casual.]
[They've both been taking it easy lately, to the best of their abilities. Fiddleford had it worse, of course - he was the one who had to relive one of the worst things he'd ever been through - but Marco watched himself nearly kill a little girl, and he knows she had to kill him, in turn. That... warranted a break, too.
What this means is that he's ready to comfort Fiddleford when he comes in, but he's not expecting this particular question at all. It throws him off-balance for a moment, and it shows, in the way his head tilts and his brow furrows ever so slightly.]
Of course not. You're too important.
[It's true, but it's not the only reason. Even if Fiddleford weren't here, Marco isn't sure if he could go back. It's been five years, going on six; his company must have moved on, and he has... changed, to say the least. Whether any of the issues he's been made aware of were already there back home, he can't say for certain, but it doesn't matter. Either way, he's not fit for a job of that magnitude anymore.
Speaking of things that don't matter, though, the other reason isn't that important right now. Marco gets up, reaches out, touches Fiddleford's face. That question must have come from somewhere.]
[Fiddleford leans his big ol' snout sideways into Marco's hand, which has the added bonus of letting him divert his gaze down and away. Being touched still makes him feel a little jumpy, but it's Marco, and he needs the comfort right now more than anything.]
He said -- he said you would.
Elias. I mean.
[That isn't precisely what happened, but it was heavily implied by those cute little animated pixel characters.]
[The look on Marco's face hardens; his hand on Fiddleford's face tenses too and it's so slight that most people would hardly notice, but Fiddleford is not most people.
They both know just how deeply and fundamentally they disagree about Elias, but this... It's clear that Marco doesn't like the sound of it at all.]
That that's the plan. In the end. You all leave with him to wherever that door you're buildin' goes, without me.
[And all the other followers of the Fog, he has to assume, but that's not the point. The point is the implication that Marco would go. That that's been the plan all along. That that's the point.
That that's why Marco won't talk to him about it.]
[It feels unkind, but his first thought is then what is? You won't tell me. He doesn't say that. He wants reassurance, not to fight. He wants to believe Marco right now. He closes his eyes, breathes in, breathes out. Opens them again.]
Okay.
I know I ought to take everythin' he says with a truckload of salt but... I don't know. It's hard to tell what he means and what he doesn't.
He must have been trying to make you upset. [... Must have been trying to get back at him. It's... immature, but Marco can see where it's coming from.]
I'm sorry. But I promise, I'm not going anywhere without you.
I'll just bet he was. I don't know why I expected anythin' different.
[There's a bitterness in his voice that he doesn't like. His mouth thins and he swallows it back.]
I was just tryin' to apologize. I really didn't mean to hurt him by what I did. You know that, right? I can disagree with a lot of what he does and still not want to hurt him.
I know that. [Even at his most worried, back when Fiddleford told him what he intended to do, he hoped Fiddleford truly didn't mean any harm.] But I don't think he sees it that way.
[And, fundamentally... He can't blame him, can he? Things had gone wrong, and part of him still wonders if they're lucky the consequences hadn't been even worse.]
Maybe...
[Marco hesitates, unsure of how much he actually believes what he's about to propose. It doesn't feel... wrong, exactly.]
If you'd told me sooner, I might have been able to... I don't know. Obviously, I wouldn't bring it up directly with Elias, but I could have... tried to understand what might happen as a result. Maybe.
[... Or maybe he would have done all he could to stop the plan from coming to fruition. He can acknowledge that's about as likely as the other option.]
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He just needs to see Marco. To know that he's still there. To reassure himself, as best he can, that Marco isn't just counting down the seconds until he can leave. None of that's real. That's just his mind doing that thing it always does when he's scared, where it finds problems that aren't there because surely there must be problems or he wouldn't be so scared! It's fine. It's fine.]
Honey? I, ah. Can I talk to you? [He does not wait for a response. He's really in it.] Just, y'know, hypothetical question -- if -- if Elias said you could leave, right now. Leave Ryslig, go back to normal. But I couldn't come with you. Would you go?
[You know. Just asking for no reason in particular. Fun thought exercise. Real casual.]
internalized ableism time weewoo
What this means is that he's ready to comfort Fiddleford when he comes in, but he's not expecting this particular question at all. It throws him off-balance for a moment, and it shows, in the way his head tilts and his brow furrows ever so slightly.]
Of course not. You're too important.
[It's true, but it's not the only reason. Even if Fiddleford weren't here, Marco isn't sure if he could go back. It's been five years, going on six; his company must have moved on, and he has... changed, to say the least. Whether any of the issues he's been made aware of were already there back home, he can't say for certain, but it doesn't matter. Either way, he's not fit for a job of that magnitude anymore.
Speaking of things that don't matter, though, the other reason isn't that important right now. Marco gets up, reaches out, touches Fiddleford's face. That question must have come from somewhere.]
What's wrong, honey?
weewooweewoo
He said -- he said you would.
Elias. I mean.
[That isn't precisely what happened, but it was heavily implied by those cute little animated pixel characters.]
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They both know just how deeply and fundamentally they disagree about Elias, but this... It's clear that Marco doesn't like the sound of it at all.]
What did he tell you?
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[And all the other followers of the Fog, he has to assume, but that's not the point. The point is the implication that Marco would go. That that's been the plan all along. That that's the point.
That that's why Marco won't talk to him about it.]
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[The response is prompt, firm, and clearly unhappy, but not with Fiddleford.]
I'm not going to leave you behind. That's not the plan.
[... He needs to talk to Elias. First, though... It's more important to make sure Fiddleford is alright.]
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Okay.
I know I ought to take everythin' he says with a truckload of salt but... I don't know. It's hard to tell what he means and what he doesn't.
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I'm sorry. But I promise, I'm not going anywhere without you.
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[There's a bitterness in his voice that he doesn't like. His mouth thins and he swallows it back.]
I was just tryin' to apologize. I really didn't mean to hurt him by what I did. You know that, right? I can disagree with a lot of what he does and still not want to hurt him.
no subject
[And, fundamentally... He can't blame him, can he? Things had gone wrong, and part of him still wonders if they're lucky the consequences hadn't been even worse.]
Maybe...
[Marco hesitates, unsure of how much he actually believes what he's about to propose. It doesn't feel... wrong, exactly.]
If you'd told me sooner, I might have been able to... I don't know. Obviously, I wouldn't bring it up directly with Elias, but I could have... tried to understand what might happen as a result. Maybe.
[... Or maybe he would have done all he could to stop the plan from coming to fruition. He can acknowledge that's about as likely as the other option.]