[thankfully, he isn't bothered by the sadness: he knows people's options once they've heard his story are going to invariably be pity, anger, or fear. he nods a little, the smile becoming just that little bit more genuine]

Now you understand why I was so afraid of how open my mind was to all of that ... I want people to learn about it when and how I decide, not ... because I can't help seeing so much of this place through that lens. Of ... of what he would think of it all. What he'd do.